she's just saying...

Can I be done? and other questions

 How long does it take to get over a broken heart?  I've been trying to follow the recommendation from a great self-help book, which is not to have contact with your ex for 60 days. I've done pretty well with that, aside from some tipsy hugs during the concerts last weekend and a few text messages about baseball. It's good advice, but really hard to follow when you live three doors away. It doesn't seem to have helped, anyway.

Why does it still hurt as much as it has the last eight times we broke up? Shouldn't I be getting used to this? The heart's capacity for hope, denial and forgiveness is amazing - I keep testing the limits and not finding them. Self-preservation does kick in finally, thankfully. But the fact that it's the right thing to do doesn't make it any easier to take.

How do I get past this?  The most random things trigger a pang: a song, a trip to the farmer's market, an article I've read, turning down the wrong street, hearing a baseball score. But as Kathi says, there are things that help. Meditation, pets, friends, children, projects, compelling work; all contribute to getting through the day, and I'd even say that overall I'm happy. But the tears of a clown, etc.

Does love ever come without pain? Based on the empirical evidence I've gathered from the last thirty years, I'd have to say no. Maybe in the next thirty . . .

The Omnivore's Hundred

Thank god Jen provided the topic for a post just when we were about to be sucked into the Sticky Swamp of Cuteness forever.

Originally from www.verygoodtaste.co.uk: "...Below is a list of 100 things that I think every good omnivore should have tried at least once in their life. The list includes fine food, strange food, everyday food and even some pretty bad food - but a good omnivore should really try it all. Don’t worry if you haven’t, mind you; neither have I, though I’ll be sure to work on it. Don’t worry if you don’t recognize everything in the hundred, either; Wikipedia has the answers."

"Here’s what you do:

1) Copy this list into your blog , including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating."

So here goes, my comments in parentheses:

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea (girl scouts!)
3. Huevos rancheros (like every weekend)
4. Steak tartare (used to love this in NYC restaurants)
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10.Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21.Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24.Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27.Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects (covered in chocolate)
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth $120 or more (more NYC excess - it was the '80's)
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine (Montreal)
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin (Kaopectate?)
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake (um, all four?)
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe (Paris)
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie (my old advertising clients!)
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant. (Paris 1977, NYC in the '80's again)
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake 

Hmm. I guess I'm quite the omnivore. Don't mean to sound like an obnoxious food snob, but this isn't a very ambitious list, IMHO. I probably had most of these 20 years ago (ok, that sounded snobby).

How about you guys? (Bloggers: Here's an easy post for Labor Day weekend!)

Stop me

before this blog is taken over by kitten cuteness!

Just two more, then I really will change the subject.

Oreo is fascinated with the dog, who's surprisingly tolerant of him. Now and then I hear dog jaws snapping at the empty air, but he's dealing pretty well.

This one's worthy of a lolcat:

Action shots

Smackdown action:

Suburbutopia

[I suppose Bend isn't really the suburbs, but life sure looks and feels like it.]

We did our annual ease-back-into-school mode with the "Meet the Teacher" event at Henry's school this afternoon. The kids see their new classrooms, check out their teachers and eat popsicles from the PTA. We  catch up from the summer and plan playdates and carpools for flag football practice.

I enjoy the rhythms of life in this town. They're very pleasant and comfortable; like living here in general. I feel vaguely embarrassed that life is so easy for us, though. Must be my liberal guilt. Enjoy the benefits, but feel kinda bad about it. 

But boy, we're a white bunch here. Another transracial adoptive mom and I were looking around to see if there were any new non-white kids, as we know every one of the other eight black kids there, including our own. (This is out of an 800-student public school.) We got very excited to see a black mom - the only one I've seen in Bend. We're progressing!

Yes, I know, race doesn't matter, blah blah, but I can't imagine being in the one percent minority in grade school. Doesn't seem to bother Henry though.

Not much bothers Henry, except when they run out of popsicles. Hope it stays that way.

Kitty Smackdown

My big-beautiful-Bob and the killer princess Muffin are not pleased with the presence of the little squirt Oreo in the house.

Bob stomps around growling deep in his throat and avoids the house except to eat and get a lil lovin' from the mistress (me). Muffin prefers the cold silent mean-girl stare. All the while, little happy-go-lucky Oreo continues to play, jump, and pounce, pretty much ignoring the cranky old folk.

Except when we have:

Every so often, the Bob'a'Muff team delivers a spanking to the little guy, who, like a good little kitten, rolls over and assumes the submissive "I'm just a tiny little baby" position. They raise their paws and give him a quick smack-smack-smack, then run away.

It seems to be a standard ritual and they all play their part. He doesn't seem very afraid, and someday I'm sure he'll smack them back. (That is, if we keep him, of course, which we're clearly not thinking of doing.)

Winding up the season

Yankees/Red Sox on! Don't tell me the score - I just got home so I TIVO'ed it.

Right about now everyone gets fired up about the football season starting when baseball is just getting good. Of course if you don't have a team in the running, the season is pretty much over anyway.

Do you enjoy watching a team sporting event if you have no personal interest in the outcome?

Taking a leak

And fixing it. Maybe.

Good news: I found the source of the leak in the pond, and it's fixable.

More good news: I found out where at least one of the tadpoles went, while I was looking for the leak: it turned into a baby frog. So clever!

Bad news: I have to move a bunch of the boulders and rocks from the pond perimeter to deal with the leak, which turns out to be from water siphoning up through some deep folds in the pond liner.

So it's back to mixing concrete, building up a little retaining wall at that edge, caulking up the folds and so forth. It's a damn good thing my job doesn't start for a week!

Who's sick of reading about my stupid water feature?

You don't need to vote. Really. Thanks.

C'mon

No one else willing to take a shot at a six-word memoir? How can I post the top 10 submissions if you don't submit anything?  Or I could get my brother to write more -- that's a threat...

Beck blast

Cortney Maddock/rgj - See? I do give credit.

Another great show by Beck last night.

This show was the complete opposite of the concert he gave here two years ago. No sets, no puppets, no video, no utensil drumming; just wall-to-wall Beck songs - sort of the "Best Of" (in a good way). Starting off with "Loser," they played "Hell Yes," "Where it's At," "Guero," "Lost Cause," a bunch from "Modern Guilt," and many others. It was a high-energy, positive, tight wash of pure Beck.

I love going down to get as close to the stage as possible -- jammed in among all the other happy dancing people, smelling fresh grass (both kinds), altoids, teenage perfume, warm bodies (all clean: it is Bend, after all). It's a rush - a completely different experience vs. sitting back in the beer garden.

I was definitely in a different place, too, versus two years ago, but it was all okay. Perfect weather, great venue, fun company, plenty of wine, friendly crowd: overall a stellar night. I even biked there and back and didn't fall over! (a first)

Six words to describe your life

The book Not Quite What I was Planning: Six Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure, by Larry Smith and Rachel Fershleiser, is a cogent little compilation based on the story that Hemingway once bet ten dollars that he could sum up his life in six words. His words were: For Sale: baby shoes, never worn.

(I don't really understand this actually: was he referring to his own shoes? He had kids, so it couldn't be theirs, so what gives? Anyway, I digress [my memoir in just three words right there.])

So, this is a wildly popular meme and since I'm always up for talking about myself a challenge, here we go. How I'd sum up my life varies wildly depending on how I feel at any particular moment. Maybe that's one:

Can't describe it: it keeps changing.

A few more:

PA, VT, AK, MA, CA, OR.

Getting old but feel fourteen inside.

I'm on a roll:

So much love, yet still single.

I hope I'm reborn a kitten.

And from the Dalai Lama's thoughts on the meaning of life:

Be happy: help others be happy.

 

Alright, all my froggers (friend/bloggers). I won't call out your names in front of the whole class, but start writing. Either here or take the ball and go home to your own blog with it. It's kind of addicting.

[Read more submissions to the next book project here.]

WORMS (the good kind)

I received my worm allocation today from Laurie, the Wonder Worman.

Everybody into the pool!

My pretties.

I was expecting the big fat bait kind, but these are much smaller (they're just babies) and a whole lot more lively. Laurie has a whole operation going in her garage and can't keep up with the demand. Cool, huh?

Dead jay walking

Pretty much ever since I built this house (with my own two hands!), a nasty street gang of stellar's jays have hung out in the junipers, divebombing my cats and hurling racial and species slurs at the dog in bird-slang. They bully the other birds and throw juniper berries on us when we're on the deck. They're loud, rude and obnoxious, but they do add local color. (Blue, in particular.)

Today I saw one of the bro-jays lurking around my pondette a bit suspiciously, and this evening I couldn't see any of my tadpoles. I'm not accusing anyone of anything, but if any of those jays have frog breath, they're so busted.

Anyone have a slingshot?

Big news, big changes

I've been working my consulting gig since the Big Globe swallowed us and spit us out, but we can't live balancing on that tenuous tightrope. So, back to the corporate world I go.

The big news tonight is that I accepted a new job as VP of Marketing for our local cultural gem starting in early Sept. I predict the quantity of blog posting here will drop precipitously.

Whoa! We interrupt this news update to say that those Jamaican relay runners are very FIT! Those green shorts make it all very clear.

Whew. 

Oh yeah, so work, it's gonna begin again. Good times.

Ravelympics

As mentioned before, Ravelry.com is the worst time-sucking black hole social networking site for knitters. It's an addictive other world, complete with exclusivity (there's a wait list), inside slang, mascots (Bob the Boston Terrier), weird freaky group scenes (Knitters who love "Dexter"?) and a spider's web of links, projects, yarns, designers, patterns, heated discussion forums, stashes, queues, faves and so forth. It's non-profit, run on a shoestring, totally hip and very addictive. Did I mention I'm an addict?

Anyway, in a typical weird/goofy/knitting humor way, they're running the Ravelympics with knitting events and awards AND I WON ONE. (Of course, everyone who completes a project during the  Olympics timeframe wins an award, but so what). So that's what the strange dog thing is in the sidebar over there. And this is what I knit to win it.
that's not a gang sign - I'm hand modeling

Pretty basic, but I started and finished in a week (no surprise given I had a huge work project due).

Sami is knitting an itsy-bitsy bikini as her entry. Can't wait to see that - water disaster in the making, for sure.

So that's my addition to Kathi's 13 more ways to beat Shawn Johnson list. I can knit a mitt. What can you do?

Quickie

Major report due to the client tomorrow - guess who's been procrastinating? Well, at least I got the waterworks completed. There's something to be said for professional-grade procrastination - a lot gets accomplished. Just not the right lot.

Add to the catastrophe list from Sunday: a leak in the pond. Must save tadpoles!

Baby kitties, baby frogs, (big) baby dog, baby mosquitoes; we're all just a big bunch of babies around here.

Top Ten advertising edition

Since I've worked in the ad business for 20somethingorso years, certain key lines of dialogue from TV spots tend to stick in my brain and pop out of my mouth at random moments. Since most of them get a blank stare in return, I'm putting them down here for your future reference. Some I've worked on, some I haven't.

Not mine, but favorites:

1. Dunkin Donuts with Fred the Baker: "It's time to make the donuts..." Useful in many situations.

2. Whiskas: "Kitty cats, read my beak." I could watch this over and over, and do.

3. Vicks 44: "I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV." I said this to my doctor once (who's maybe 12) and got the blank stare plus the humor the patient look. It lost something in the explanation.

4. My latest favorite: the eTrade Mobile Baby: "Bad girl!" I love how his eyes widen at this.

Spots I've worked on:

5. Knudsen Cottage Cheese:  "Don't be wiggy!" We had no idea what this meant, but we liked it.

6. Butchers Blend, with "stew-like goodness!" There were legal reasons we couldn't say "stew," but "stew-like," no problem.

7. Reach Toothbrush: "Bad news at the dentist!" (He says we aren't getting our back teeth clean enough.) Tragedy strikes the family.

8. Knorr Soups: Frank Langella saying "Leeeek sooooup," getting all the housewives hot.

9. More recently: Edge Wireless: "It's for you!" with endless variations of intonation.

10. And my finest hour: working on the Ren & Stimpy Talking & Farting Dolls and coming up with the phrase "rude underleg noise" (can't say fart on TV). Thank you.

 

Discus fever

I take it back!! They're showing the women discus throwers. Yikes. They're scary.

Today's donation

Today's Olympics donation goes to Amnesty International for their continuing fight for human rights and against repression, torture and wrongful imprisonment.

Meanwhile, the Olympics is on just about 24/7 here. My eyes glaze over during the unending swimming, beach volleyball and gymnastics events. Interesting that those have been basically the only sports NBC covers during prime time. Could it be due to the skimpy uniforms? Nah - how cynical! But why should they give us coverage of the fencing, the mountain biking, the shot put, the skeet shooting? Not so sexy. Low ratings. Now if they had skeet shooting in bikinis, that'd be the ticket!

Who wouldn't want to watch this?

Wanna go?

Anyone want to go with me to the Beck concert here next Sunday? Email me at melissahoch at g mail dot com and let me know. His 2006 appearance (above) was the best concert I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot. Can't wait.